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Consoling Your Partner When You Lose a Child

The love that parents have for their offsprings has been described as an instinct. Parental love is one of the most powerful forces in nature, one that has baffled scientists for long. It is the dream of every parent to see their children grow up and become successful, even more successful than they were. Thus, responsible parents invest everything they have into the education and upbringing of their children.

Therefore, you can imagine what tragedy it is to lose a child; it is a most unpleasant experience, so bitter that you will not even wish it for your sworn enemy. In a case where a child is lost, those that are most hit are understandably the parents. As a spouse (wife or husband), this is a time when you have to really display your love and affection. This is even more important if you are the husband. It is common belief that men are less emotional than women. Thus, you have to console your wife with all the love, care and attention that you can muster, this may not be easy considering the fact that you are also bereaved but it is said that love conquers all.

As a loving spouse, you must resist that ugly temptation of blaming your partner for the loss of the child. At such times, it is common to see spouses trade blames over the loss of a child, this is nothing but transferred aggression and that is the last thing that you need at such a period.

In addition, as a spouse you really have to demonstrate that you are also bereaved. You do not have to be an actor to do this. The reason why this is important is that nothing can be more devastating to a wife than the nonchalance of a husband when she has just lost a child. As a partner, be considerate, patient and caring, even if the other party is doing the opposite.

Filed Under: Emotional Stress, Parenting Tagged With: , , ,

The Pain of a Lost Pregnancy

To the prospective parents, it is the loss of a child but other people may not view it that way. When a woman has a miscarriage, there is no grieving as there is for any other lost life and that can make coping with pregnancy loss very difficult. Doctors will often write off the loss as one of those things that can’t be explained and will just encourage the couple to try again.

Most hospitals are getting better about dealing with pregnancy loss but there are still some facilities which put the women who have lost a pregnancy on the same floor as those with healthy babies. Talk about adding insult to injury, it is especially cruel to have these women in the same location. It is equally unfair for Ob-Gyn’s to see pregnant women at the same time that they are working with couples with fertility problems. Sitting in the same waiting room with a pregnant woman can cause unneeded pain to a woman who has trouble conceiving or carrying a child to term.

If you lose a pregnancy through miscarriage, it is important to acknowledge the loss in some way even if the rest of society does not. Many hospitals have started support groups for those who have experienced a miscarriage and a monthly memorial service is often part of the meeting. You may be encouraged to name the unborn child to help with the grieving process. To just ignore the loss and try to move on can be next to impossible.

The loss of a pregnancy is sure to ignite a whole range of emotions that you may not expect. It is common to feel anger toward family members who have successful pregnancies and wonder if you are being punished for something. Seek out people who have been through similiar experiences so you know that you are not alone.

Filed Under: Emotional Stress, Foster Care, Parenting Tagged With: , ,

You Never get Over the Loss of a Child

Ask any parent who has been through it and they will tell you that you may move on but you never completely get over the loss of a child. This is without a doubt, a parents worst nightmare. When a child dies, the parent cannot help but feel responsible in some way and guilty that they are alive but their child is not.

There is always some pain associated with the loss of a loved one but that pain is exaggerated when it is the loss of someone who never had a chance to live a full life. We all have great dreams for our children and when lives are cut short before they can attempt to fulfill those dreams, the pain cuts even deeper. The death of a child has a profound effect on the parent who will never be the same.

Grieving parents will tell you that dealing with the death of a child saps much of the joy out of life. After the death, there is a void that cannot be filled at family functions and the holidays are always difficult. Even when the parent begins to return to a normal life, they say that they are no longer as social as they were before and find it hard to laugh.

The best thing that can be done for a parent who has lost a child is to accept them as they are. Well meaning people may try to get the parents to go out and do the things that they enjoyed before but for the grieving mom or dad it may be difficult to do these things, especially if it was an activity that they enjoyed with their child. Friends and relatives have to understand that the death changed the parents forever and it is a scar that they will bear until the day that they die.

Filed Under: Emotional Stress, Parenting Tagged With: , ,
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